帮助胆小的孩子战胜“恐惧”,只需4个步骤!

洛洛妈:海默老师你好,按理说小宝宝缺乏安全感,依赖大人我能理解,可我家宝宝都三岁了还天天一看到陌生人就害怕,晚上怕黑不敢一个人睡觉,出门在外走哪都拽着我们衣服,种种行为都说明这孩子…

洛洛妈:海默老师你好,按理说小宝宝缺乏安全感,依赖大人我能理解,可我家宝宝都三岁了还天天一看到陌生人就害怕,晚上怕黑不敢一个人睡觉,出门在外走哪都拽着我们衣服,种种行为都说明这孩子胆小。我想知道孩子胆小的毛病和什么有关?有没有什么破解之法?

胡海默老师支招

什么是胆小哪?

我查到的定义是:指人的(心理状态)过于害怕有威慑力的事物而(不敢与面对现实)不能自拔,做事畏缩、顾及。

表现为:怕黑、怕敲门、依赖父母、怕大声、不爱与人交流、不和陌生人玩、恐高等等。

胆小的孩子,背后是一颗羞怯、缺乏自信、懦弱的心在起作用。所以,如果孩子一直都处于非常胆小的状态,还是非常有必要正面分析一下,形成的原因,以及怎样帮助孩子打破羞怯、建立自信、获得勇气的!

帮助胆小的孩子战胜“恐惧”,只需4个步骤!

是什么原因造成孩子的胆小哪?

1、经常吓唬孩子的家庭

过去老人带孩子,常常讲的一句吓唬小孩的话,不听话就让坏人把你带跑,或者不听话就让狼把你叼走!

这种经常被吓唬长大的孩子,内心就会埋下这种莫名恐惧的种子,虽然长大以后知道那是开玩笑的说法,但是那种恐惧的情绪是留在了心里。

2、经常训斥、严重的打骂孩子

我们之前讲过,经常训斥或者打骂孩子的,孩子非常容易形成两种发展方向,一方面就是懦弱,胆小。另一方面是暴力,撒谎。

3、过分溺爱

凡事都代替孩子,不给孩子自己接触,锻炼新事物的机会,也会导致孩子缺乏勇气面对新事物,而产生懦弱胆小的倾向。

4、家庭有意识的灌输了卑微的心态

过去常听到有家长教育孩子说,咱们家没钱没权,你在外面不要惹事情,少和人争执,吃点亏就吃点亏!用这样的调调教育孩子,非常容易导致孩子内心的自卑,进而没了自信,变得胆小!

搞清楚这几个原因,其实就已经知道怎么对症下药,帮助孩子变得敢于挑战了!

这里特别强调,不是说要让孩子变得敢于挑战,就是硬生生的把孩子扔进他已经感到恐惧的环境里面去,把这看做是锻炼,这不但不合适,反而容易适得其反。

克服孩子“胆小”的四个步骤

1要营造一个爱意浓浓的家庭环境,是第一步要做的。

家人相互之间和睦相处,经常一起出游,一起玩儿,和大自然亲密接触,给孩子创造很多机会,学习唱歌、画画、跳舞等等,按照孩子的自由意志选择兴趣爱好,通过爱好和小朋友有更多的接触机会,逐步的化解孩子内心的胆怯。

对于恐吓孩子,打骂,训斥孩子的行为更是要坚决杜绝的!

帮助胆小的孩子战胜“恐惧”,只需4个步骤!

2鼓励孩子和其他的小伙伴儿一起玩儿。

陌生人会让孩子感到不安,感到害怕,但是同龄的小朋友之间,这种害怕会弱很多,所以,尽可能的创造机会让小朋友之间一起玩儿。

3鼓励孩子维护自己的权益。

要教会孩子在面对压力,面对挑衅,面对不公正待遇的时候,怎样通过安全,有效的渠道维护自己的权益。而不是懦弱,自卑的一味退让,而是要积极的争取维护自己的权益。

但是,这首先是要在家庭里创造出一个有规则且平等的氛围,这样的话,孩子维权的意识就会内化在心里。

4建立自信需更多的赞赏和鼓励。

之前我们分享过了怎样赞赏孩子,怎样在不经意间的赞赏孩子,才最有用。

这种赞赏是帮助孩子建立自信的重要武器。尤其是当孩子到4岁以上的时候,更加需要得到爸爸的赞赏和肯定,这对于建立孩子的自信心意义重大!

推荐阅读有关心理营养的文章。

整篇看下来,其实要想战胜胆小的问题,还是要依循科学育儿理念来教育孩子。育儿即育己!爱、自由、规则、平等!

无论待孕、已孕、新晋、待产、已生妈妈,如有早教问题请加胡老师:970286与你一起聊聊科学育儿那些事儿!

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