穷养富养都不如“慢养”,这才是教育的精髓

生命君开小号啦 更多实用、有料的育儿知识 请移步“母婴日报”翻牌子 (ID:muyingribao) 从怀孕就张罗着选幼儿园、买学区房,给孩子报各种兴趣班,满满当当的安排让不少孩子…

穷养富养都不如“慢养”,这才是教育的精髓

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从怀孕就张罗着选幼儿园、买学区房,给孩子报各种兴趣班,满满当当的安排让不少孩子一大早刚出被窝,就被催促着“赶快吃饭”、“走快点”,有的孩子甚至七八岁就被送到国外读书……

穷养富养都不如“慢养”,这才是教育的精髓

殊不知,人生不是短跑,也不知中长跑,而是一场马拉松,马拉松没有人想着要抢跑,因为不会有人“输在起跑线上”。

所以,要允许孩子慢慢来

穷养富养都不如“慢养”,这才是教育的精髓

5招学会放慢脚步

“别让孩子输在起跑线上!” 这句商家发明出来的广告语不知影响了多少中国父母。从孩子呱呱坠地到长大成人,父母倾注了大量心血。

穷养富养都不如“慢养”,这才是教育的精髓

《生命时报》近日发起的网络问卷调查显示:

教育是家长们最大的开支,占到收入的四成,10%的家长甚至超过六成;

其中,学费、资料费、兴趣班、学区房、服装消费被家长认为是最烧钱的项目;

接近一半的家长表示,只要条件允许,就会给孩子最好的教育。

另一项最新调查报告表明:

  • 全球范围内,将“子女教育投资”视为“最不可削减的投资”的家长占比32%;

  • 中国内地以59%名列前茅;

  • 中国香港、台湾这一比例分别为:50%、45%;

  • 同样重视教育的印度为34%;

  • 被视为全球最优质教育资源焦点的美国却只有26%。

显然,中国家长已成为世界上最重视子女教育投资的父母。

慢养才出好孩子

快节奏的生活让家长们在对待孩子教育的问题上也越来越着急,盲目追求短期效果。事实上,“抢跑”未必就有好成绩。

穷养富养都不如“慢养”,这才是教育的精髓

一项研究表明,在学前班认识较多汉字的孩子,一年级的语文会领先其他孩子,但是到了二年级,水平就与其他孩子持平了。

  • 家长急功近利,不给孩子自我探索和体验的机会,会扼杀孩子的兴趣,使孩子缺乏主动性,对家长产生严重的依赖心理;

  • 家长的催促会打乱了孩子的节奏,让孩子易烦躁、耐性差,甚至产生逆反心理;

  • 家长喜欢用“又快又好”的标准要求孩子,孩子总达不到,会自卑;

  • 有的家长由于自身焦虑,总是催促孩子,在潜移默化中,孩子也可能变成像家长那样焦虑的人。

5招学会放慢脚步

教育需要耐心,家长不妨适当放慢节奏,还教育一个“慢”过程,“十年树木,百年树人”说的正是这个道理。

穷养富养都不如“慢养”,这才是教育的精髓

“慢养”就是尊重孩子的天性,让他成为他自己,放手让孩子做自己感兴趣的事。具体来说,家长可以从以下几方面来调整:

放慢脚步,按孩子的节奏来

比如,孩子想用积木搭城堡,花了很长时间也没搭成,家长不要催他,更不要越俎代庖,让孩子按照自己的节奏来探索,在不断的尝试中体验到积木的奇妙和游戏的快乐。

别把“快点”挂嘴边

平时不要总催促孩子,老指责“你怎么这么磨蹭”等。要坦然接纳孩子的慢速度,成人和孩子的生活节奏、生理节奏、心理节奏都不同,家长不能用自己的标准来衡量孩子。

别刻意提前教知识

“抢跑”不一定能跑到最后,可适当引导,让孩子自己发现真正喜欢的东西。诸多研究表明,幼儿园教识字并不能让孩子成绩提高得更快,反而可能会破坏家长和孩子之间的感情。

别总批评孩子或与别的孩子比较

每个孩子都是一朵独特的花,都有自己的花期,家长要做的,就是尊重个性差异,让他享受到雨露阳光的滋润,然后静待花开。

别怕孩子走弯路

有些弯路,必须要孩子自己去走,家长不可急于求成,替孩子人为剪裁出一条捷径。

孩子犯错误别急着向他灌输正确做法,留些时间给孩子,让他自己学会反省、观察、思考和比较,自悟自省比强制的灌输重要得多。

穷养富养都不如“慢养”,这才是教育的精髓

所以,不妨给孩子一定自由,让他慢慢爬升,慢慢学会为自己负责。

要允许他们以孩子的视角看待周围、解读生活,允许他们在学步时跌倒,允许他们成绩不够优秀,允许他们不够高大、威武、漂亮,允许他们一切真实的存在。

只要你允许那个真实的他们,就会把生命原本具有的向上动力交还他们,努力生长就是他们内在最自然的流露。

当我们明白不管孩子未来做航天员还是厨师,卖猪肉还是跳芭蕾,都是他们自己独特的人生体验时,也许就可以更好地实践“慢养孩子”的真谛了。

穷养富养都不如“慢养”,这才是教育的精髓

孩子,你可以慢慢来

本期

母婴智囊团

中国科学院心理研究所教授 祝卓宏

北京大学社会学系教授 郑也夫

中国教育协会会长 顾明远

国家二级心理咨询师 琚金民 孔令雪

编辑:郑荣华

版权声明:本文为《生命时报》旗下“母婴日报”(微信号:muyingribao)原创,未经授权谢绝转载。

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