家庭教育感悟六十条(二)

16、 不要因为做家庭教育、因为大家都在重视家庭教育,就否定学校教育,因为它们原本就是相互不可替代;不要因为家庭教育是基础,就说好父母胜过好老师,因为本身就不能用胜负说输赢;不要因…

16、 不要因为做家庭教育、因为大家都在重视家庭教育,就否定学校教育,因为它们原本就是相互不可替代;不要因为家庭教育是基础,就说好父母胜过好老师,因为本身就不能用胜负说输赢;不要因为我们改变了很多家庭,就把自己当教育的神人,因为这些智慧他们原本就有,我们只是在帮大家看清真相。

17、 家庭教育学习变化:开始是学方法“对付、摆平”孩子,后来原来是学方法“内观、自省”自己;开始是学方法解决孩子问题,后来发现要“向内”找问题;开始是学方法让对方来爱自己,后来是学会了让自己如何爱对方;开始是为了孩子来参加学习,后来学习是为了自己;开始是“亲子如想” ,后来是“亲子如是” 。

18、 家长遇到问题先要“四问自己”:是否“懂孩子” (看到另一面了吗?)?是否“重关系” (先处理好心情了吗?)?是否“找原因” (发现自己原因了吗?)?是否“想办法”了(积极有爱地接纳并处理了吗?)?

19、 学习成绩三要素:动机、认知策略、智商。动机最重要,比如要见某人,有动机克服一切困难都会实现,没有动机即使就在咫尺也会借口多多;学习不也如此吗?认知策略是方法是技巧,比如要见某人,可步行可开车可跑步,总会有不同的方法做同样的事情。没有动机就不会想出很多方法。所以要先补心再补习。

20、 《盯着负面就会制造负面》:妈妈太焦虑、孩子难心安!盯着负面就会制造负面。比如到自助餐厅就餐,我们都会挑自己喜欢吃的,面对餐厅准备了那么多我们不喜欢吃的我们从不会抱怨,原因是我们的焦点聚焦在"喜欢"的层面。亲子、婚姻不也如此吗?

21、 《中国好声音》的四个评委均是典型的“明师” ,深谙“接纳之道” ,对每个选手都是采用“先欣赏、再教育”策略,哪怕要让选手落选离开舞台也是做“痛心疾首”之状,并适时给以“希望” (什么参演32场、五棵松等),如果家长们、老师们学好了评委们的策略,孩子们一定每天如打了鸡血般学习。

22、 《不做亏本的买卖!》:家长短信–管着孩子写作业,孩子拒绝、生气;干涉孩子上网,孩子愤怒、对抗;我终日以泪洗面,孩子惶惶不可终日。我回应–如此结果是“亏了关系、亏了心情,两亏无一盈利” ,亲子教育有时和做生意是一样的:不做亏本的买卖。你找到答案了吗?家长回复:谢谢、我明白怎么做了。

23、 关于现在学生网络问题,我认为“这代孩子是不可能逃避网络诱惑这一关的,所以靠拔网线、不连通网络等办法都是无效的,大禹治水为何流芳百世,其实大禹父亲更早治水,为什么没有大禹治水影响大呢?就是因为大禹父亲治水是采用堵的方式,造成更大的洪水泛滥,而大禹治水是采用疏的方式,网络问题要学大禹。

24、《保护》:先别谈如何激发孩子学习兴趣,学会先保护吧—“罚抄一百遍、看你厌不厌”;先别谈如何激发学生创造思维,学会先保护吧—“别异想天开了、把作业做好”;先别谈如何让孩子快乐学习,学会先保护吧—“把手放在后面,闭嘴、认真听课。什么事都不要管,把书读好就可以了。”

25、 孩子没有叛逆期,只有青春期;每个孩子都深深爱、信任及听从自己的父母,他们反叛的是家长按照自己的是非观念对他们自由的约束与不尊重。化解青春期孩子的“对抗”策略是“接纳”–积极有爱的接纳。

26、 《欣赏的力量》:对面邻居家有个5岁小男孩,有次我们分别出门相遇,我本能地、友善地对着他微笑,蹲下来给他翘了一个大拇指;此后很长一段时间,只要我家门一响,他便在对面开门等着我给他的微笑与欣赏。其奶奶说“奇怪,孙子在其他陌生人面前很胆怯,不知为何如此亲近你。”我笑着说“欣赏的力量吧”。

家庭教育感悟六十条(二)

家庭教育感悟六十条(二)

家庭教育感悟六十条(二)

家庭教育感悟六十条(二)

家庭教育感悟六十条(二)

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