「家教有招」4:成吉思汗身后伟大的父亲母亲

成吉思汗身后伟大的父亲母亲 ——《成吉思汗》对家庭教育的启示 成吉思汗无疑是卓越的组织家,是“深沉有大略,用兵如神”的战略家。观看完电视连续剧《成吉思汗》后,我更深切地感受到,是伟…

成吉思汗身后伟大的父亲母亲

——《成吉思汗》对家庭教育的启示

成吉思汗无疑是卓越的组织家,是“深沉有大略,用兵如神”的战略家。观看完电视连续剧《成吉思汗》后,我更深切地感受到,是伟人成吉思汗背后站立回望的伟大的父亲也速该和母亲诃额伦成就了成吉思汗。没有他们的教育,就没有成吉思汗的伟大!

「家教有招」4:成吉思汗身后伟大的父亲母亲

(成吉思汗)

下面,让我们透过一些片断来回望诃额伦是如何一步步成就成吉思汗的伟大的,同时也给我们今天的家庭教育一些启示。

片断一:九岁时的铁木真和十岁的扎木合共同射中了一头猎物,两人在争论猎物归谁时,也速该只是静静地坐在一旁,微笑着没有干预,而是让两个孩子以自己的方式决定猎物的归属。而当铁木真和扎木合结为安答的时候,也速该扶着两人的肩膀说了一句鼓励的话:“你们将来一定会成为草原上最出色的英雄!”

启示:作为家长,不要偏袒自己的孩子,在孩子之间有分歧的时候,最好是让孩子以自己的方式解决分歧,这是孩子成长过程中很重要的一步。如果父母干涉太多,孩子就将会失去了自己的主见。而一旦父母站在自己的立场决定由自己的孩子获取利益的时候,孩子的心中也就滋长了自私。

「家教有招」4:成吉思汗身后伟大的父亲母亲

(铁木真和父亲)

片断二:也速该与诃额伦谈论铁木真的婚事时,诃额伦对也速该说:“按照草原的习俗,如果定了亲,铁木真就要到未婚妻家住下来,他那么小。”也速该回答说:“雏鹰只有自己去飞,翅膀才会变硬;孩子只有离开父母,才会学会本事。让铁木真离开我们吧,这对他,对我们都有好处吧。”

启示:孩子在父母的眼里始终是孩子,但孩子总归自己要长大,因此,做父母的要学会放手,放手让孩子在生活中去感悟生活、体验生活、去摸爬滚打,在生活的大风大浪中成长。然而遗憾的是,我们今天的许多父母却溺爱着自己的孩子,含在嘴里怕化了,不愿自己的孩子经受哪怕是一点点的磨难,结果是孩子成年了,还不会打理自己的生活,岂不悲乎?

片断三:也速该带着铁木真在前往求婚的路上,夜宿草原时,父子俩就女真人、辽国和宋朝之间的关系有一番对话。

铁木真:“那为什么汉人像绵羊一样软弱呢?”

也速该:“不,像杨家将,像岳飞、韩世忠,也像烈马一样彪悍呀!”

铁木真:“那他们为什么打不过女真人呢?”

也速该:“呵呵,他们的皇帝不行,好人坏人分不清,往往坏人得势,好人倒霉。岳飞父子就是被秦桧害死的。”

启示:这番草原上的对话,让铁木真明白了什么是软弱,什么是强悍;什么是好人,什么是坏人。尤其是宋朝灭亡的教训,给铁木真以后驰骋草原吸取了难得的历史教训。历史是一本永远也读不完的厚重无边的书,作为家长,在孩子的成长过程中,要让孩子多阅读历史书籍,从历史书籍中去吸收古人的智慧,去吸取古人的教训,这可以让孩子在成长过程中少走很多的弯路。

片断四:在塔里忽台的挑唆与威胁之下,也速该原来的部众纷纷离开铁木真母子,铁木真母子陷入了苦难的深渊。在困境中,诃额伦没有倒下,她撑起了家庭的重任,并将这份重任让铁木真学会承担起来:“现在最主要的是往后怎么办?铁木真,你是长子,你说说你的想法。你是这片营地里最大的男人,你应该知道自己的责任。”……“首先我们还是要活下去,不管有多么的艰难,不管有没有人帮助我们,我们都要活下去。”

启示:诃额伦告诉铁木真的一个关键点是:作为男人,要担当责任,要有面临困难的勇气。没有责任的人,不管他能力有多强,一定是不能担当的人。有责任,就要有担当。作为家长,不要总是把家庭的责任担在自己的肩上,应当告诉孩子,作为家庭中的一员,都应该担当一定的责任,而不应该是坐享其成。尤其是在家庭处于困境的时候,每一个家庭成员的担当都将决定家庭的未来走向。在家庭里有担当,今后到了社会上,也就会在自己的职责范围内勇于担当、敢于担当。

片断五:铁木真13岁那年,因为几个偶然事件,铁木真与其异母弟别克帖儿发生冲突,铁木真射死了别克帖儿。诃额伦夫人又气又恨,当场责打与教训铁木真:“你比豺狼还凶,怎么可配蒙古的可汗呢?”“你怎么可以在兄弟之间互相残害?”铁木真兄弟吸取了教训,从此兄弟之间亲密无间,共同奋斗。

启示:团结是成功的一个重要要素。如果家庭内部闹分裂不团结,他人就会有机可乘。家长无论什么时候都要告诉自己的孩子:“家和万事兴。”另外,作为一个人,善良是本性,要想成就一番事业,善良先行,就能得道者多助。

片断六:铁木真兄弟企图夺回孛儿帖,被蔑儿乞人打败。面对失败,诃额伦告诉铁木真:“铁木真,你们人太少了,这样蛮干,是救不出孛儿帖他们的。”失败和母亲的话,让铁木真明白一个道理:在自己还不够强大的时候,必须要借助他人的力量。

启示:借助他人的力量,这也是走向成功的最重要的方略。作为家长,在教育孩子的时候,要将与他人真诚合作的理念告诉他们。合作,不仅仅是抱团取暧,更是彼此分享智慧。独木难成林,滴水难成海,善于合作的人,也是成功最快的人。

「家教有招」4:成吉思汗身后伟大的父亲母亲

(孛儿帖)

片断七:曾经的部众先后来到铁木真帐下投奔,他们下马跪在诃额伦面前请求收留,诃额伦说:“现在我的儿子铁木真是首领,一切由他作主。”

启示:诃额伦是母亲,她可以决定来投奔的原部下的人的去留,但她没有抢铁木真的风头,而是把决定权留给了铁木真。诃额伦维护了铁木真的威严,从某一个角度来说,是维护了铁木真的地位,为铁木真当上蒙古可汗加了分。我们今天的很多家长,尤其是一些年长的家长,唯恐失去了自己在家庭中的地位,一切大事小事自己作主,自己说了算,不允许孩子们有自己的主见。在这样的家庭中成长起来的孩子,往往不知道自己是谁?更不知道自己将往什么地方去?

片断八:铁木真对术赤的血统产生了怀疑,母亲诃额仑把铁木真好好地教育了一番。听了母亲的教育后,铁木真说出了发自肺腑的一句话:“你是我一生中最优秀最值得尊重的女人。”

启示:母亲诃额伦站在女人的角度说得一番话,对铁木真的影响是很大的。这个片断我们可以理解诃额伦告诉了铁木真什么叫尊重。家长要告诉自己的孩子:尊重他人,才能高贵自己。

铁木真的父亲也速该和母亲诃额伦对铁木真的教育值得今天每一位家长深思和借鉴。

「家教有招」4:成吉思汗身后伟大的父亲母亲

(铁木真母亲)

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